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I've not been working

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for just over a year.

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Prior to that I was working

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on building sites.

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I already had an underlying condition

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but my health deteriorated.

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I've got chronic back pain

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nearly all the time,

9
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blurred vision,

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bad feet.

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And I've got the lung condition.

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My most nicest thing is to spend your

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time with people that you get on with.

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And since I've been living here,

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that's been quite easy for me.

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I play quite a lot of darts.

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We play poker.

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I still enjoy walking, but

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I can't do it as well as I used to.

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I enjoy spending a lot

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of time with my partner.

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And when me and Teresa are together,

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neither of us have got any money, but

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we go out and we entertain ourselves.

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And everything, just lately,

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has been really good.

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At the moment I'm just a

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stay at home mum, with my two sons.

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Ryan's ten.

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Renell is one.

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Before my son, Renell, was born

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I was doing care work,

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and then I was doing eyelashes.

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I still do that occasionally.

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When my son goes into nursery,

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I'll look at

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part-time or full-time work.

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I enjoy probably going out to eat

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or going to the cinema or bowling.

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Or even just like staying in and

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relaxing with the children,

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or my friend Esther,

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or my cousins, or my mum

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will come round occasionally.

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I'm medically retired

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due to health issues,

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since probably four years.

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I get tired.

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I can't walk too far for too long.

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I've got issue with both feet as well

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and I've got a lung problem.

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But as long as I take things easy and

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do things in my own pace, I'm okay.

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I love being with my granddaughter.

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I like being with friends.

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I like going to my little groups

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for arts and crafts and knitting.

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I do little hats and cardigans

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for babies or younger children.

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And I like to do crystal art as well,

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just started doing that.

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I come to live here

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because I was homeless.

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I was sofa surfing.

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Sometimes I slept on the beach.

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The first time I saw this place,

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I actually refused it because it was bare,

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there was no carpet, it was a bit dirty.

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But I spent days and days cleaning it.

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Hyde managed to buy me a bed.

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They got me the cooker and a fridge.

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And slowly I got the

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other things for myself.

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It's the first time I've ever

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had anyone help me out like that.

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And first time ever in my life.

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There's Jo who comes in daily during

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the week, and if you've got any issues,

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you say to her, can you attend to this.

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And there's another lady, Melanie Smith.

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Absolutely brilliant.

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She's been in here on several ocassions

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just to help me fill forms out

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for Universal Credit.

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Because I'm dyslexic,

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because I can't read and write properly.

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When I moved in, it was quite empty.

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The walls and everything was just

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white, and there was no flooring.

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So, someone from Hyde was able to give

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me carpet in one room and a wardrobe.

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And then, in the front room

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I did some panelling as well.

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There's a park just outside.

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The children can play out and not

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have to worry about the main road.

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And then I can also look outside

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the balcony and...

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see my older son, or if I can't see him

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I'll call him and he can hear me.

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So it's good.

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But the play area fence has been

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broken since before I lived here.

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And there's not really

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much to do in the park.

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So, more playing equipment for

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the children would be good.

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I got a good feeling

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when I saw this flat.

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It did need a bit of work doing

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to it, but I knew that anyway.

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And I was prepared to get that done.

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And I'm quite happy

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with the flat itself.

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If I'm sitting out there on the

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balcony, you've got the park downstairs.

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So you could just sit there

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people watching.

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And it's quiet at the back,

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so it's good for sleep.

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I love it here, but at this end

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of the estate it's quite a good

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walk to the nearest bus stop.

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The big issues really

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are with the maintenance.

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There's hardly any cleaning going on.

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Then the lift will break down

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and that could be weeks with no lift.

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And to phone up, they tell you

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they'll give you a call back

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which very seldom happens.

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Their rent service to pay

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on phone, is excellent.

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But anything else...

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no.

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I wake up quite early,

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get my body moving,

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because I get stiff as a board

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when I wake up.

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Cooking is a main part of my day.

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I walk down into Midhurst, go to the

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local Sainsbury's and I get myself

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a bit of shopping twice a week.

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I've now planted mint out in the garden.

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I've got basil in the kitchen, and

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I've built myself a bird table.

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I love doing things like that.

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If any of my family come over here,

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we have a cup of tea and a sandwich,

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or if the children are here, we'll

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buy cakes for 'em and all that.

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I do a lot of babysitting for one of my

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daughters because she's a single parent.

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When my girlfriend, Teresa's here,

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we normally try and go out somewhere

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every day, even if it's for 10

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minutes or half an hour walking.

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We try and go every day somewhere.

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My son, Ryan,

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I'll wake him up around 7.30.

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And he'll get ready on his own.

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So I can just sort Renell out.

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And then around 12, 1,

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I'll probably get ready to do shopping

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or whatever I need to do.

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I'll probably start

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making dinner around 5.

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Have dinner around 7 and then

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just get Renell ready for bed

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and do a bit of tidying up.

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I'll probably do someone's eyelashes

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like a couple times a week.

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I just enjoy being able to focus on

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doing something simple

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but still, it's quite difficult.

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So like a puzzle.

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Seeing the end result is always nice.

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Two days a week

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I've got my granddaughter.

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She's 15 months.

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So that's quite a busy time,

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entertaining her and getting food.

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But I love it.

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My day starts early then.

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I'll get up about 6.30.

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And then Tuesdays, a bit more relaxing.

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Go to my club in the afternoon.

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Saturday, I've got another

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group in Newington Green.

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And then on the way back,

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might go for a coffee

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with a friend of mine.

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Some Sundays, family.

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Go to theirs for dinner, or they come

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to me, or we might have a meal out.

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And I like my bit of

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television of a night.

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Catching up with stuff.

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Probably too much because I end up

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going to bed about 12, half 12.

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I'm not really a lover of going

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food shopping too much now.

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That can be hard work.

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The relationship with all the

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neighbours here are very good.

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A real sense of community.

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There is one person that is

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upsetting all the other residents.

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It doesn't upset me because I can

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shut my door.

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But because we're a community,

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I will try and resolve the issue.

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I spend a lot of time

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with my grandchildren.

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I've got four daughters.

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I did have a son, but he passed away.

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I am one of 11.

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Obviously in every family you get

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siblings that you do or don't talk to.

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Sometimes I feel quite sad.

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Sometimes I feel quite

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frustrated and emotional.

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It would be lovely to rekindle some of

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the relationship with those people that

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I don't get on with so much anymore.

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I probably spend the most

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time with my friend Esther,

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who lives in the next building.

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Or probably my mum as well, because

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she'll come here after work sometimes.

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My partner was here yesterday as well.

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It's been different, Renell as a

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baby, compared to Ryan as a baby.

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I'm just looking forward to him

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to go to nursery so that

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he can be a bit more structured.

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And then with my free time

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I'd focus more on my eyelashes.

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But, Ryan's very helpful with Renell.

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And if I wanted to go out, my mum

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she might babysit or whatever.

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My granddaughter, I waited for a

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long time and the moment I set eyes

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on her, I was in love with her.

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And we've got such a good

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rapport with each other.

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I speak to a good three of my

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friends most days on the phone.

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I see my bestie probably

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three times a week.

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My friend downstairs, I'll

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go down there or she comes up

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here a couple of times a week.

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I have little gatherings every so often.

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Because it's so much cheaper than going

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anywhere and everyone brings something

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with them as well.

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And I quite like that.

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I couldn't live with anyone else now.

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I love just not having to foot

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around other people, or watch

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a certain programme because

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I know they want to watch it.

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Yeah, I like being on my own.

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I had a back injury when I was 27.

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And now I'm older it's come

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back and bit me on the arse.

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As for the lung condition,

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that's been with me since 2018.

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With the feet, I can

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hardly walk some days.

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When every step

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makes me want to cry,

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there's nothing you can do.

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You just sit down and let it pass.

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That's when I get depressed.

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That's when I get the anxiety that

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I can't do these things anymore.

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And that's very hard.

280
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,840
I always try and think positively.

281
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,399
Sometimes when I'm depressed,

282
00:11:21,399 --> 00:11:22,840
I don't realise I'm depressed

283
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:23,799
until it's too late.

284
00:11:24,399 --> 00:11:25,720
So then I shut myself in a

285
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,360
room, make sure I shut the

286
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,360
curtains, and it gets dark.

287
00:11:30,159 --> 00:11:30,759
But since I've been here,

288
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,600
some of that has lifted.

289
00:11:32,799 --> 00:11:33,879
That's how good it's been

290
00:11:33,879 --> 00:11:35,360
being here because it's made me

291
00:11:35,919 --> 00:11:37,480
realise there's much more to do.

292
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:40,200
I'd say my health is

293
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:42,360
quite good in general.

294
00:11:43,039 --> 00:11:44,320
I don't feel like I have much

295
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,679
takeaway, but I will occasionally.

296
00:11:47,519 --> 00:11:49,200
Hopefully, when Renell's in nursery,

297
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,720
I can have some time to go to the gym.

298
00:11:53,039 --> 00:11:55,519
Having, like, food in the cupboards

299
00:11:55,519 --> 00:11:57,759
and the bills are paid, when

300
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,519
that's all done then I feel a

301
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,320
bit more relaxed and everything.

302
00:12:01,879 --> 00:12:03,240
When the house is just messy and

303
00:12:03,919 --> 00:12:05,279
things are all over the place and I know

304
00:12:05,279 --> 00:12:07,240
I've got to do a lot of things,

305
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:08,879
it just kinda

306
00:12:09,639 --> 00:12:10,639
makes me feel

307
00:12:11,279 --> 00:12:12,399
scrambled, so...

308
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,279
when I know it's all sorted and like

309
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:17,480
everything's paid,

310
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,480
I'm kind of relaxed, 'cause

311
00:12:20,279 --> 00:12:22,360
I know the basics are done.

312
00:12:23,879 --> 00:12:24,919
I'm virtually...

313
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,120
mostly in a good mood.

314
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,679
I am on antidepressants,

315
00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:30,840
so that does help.

316
00:12:31,039 --> 00:12:32,399
But yeah, I do try and look on

317
00:12:32,399 --> 00:12:34,639
the bright side of things, not

318
00:12:34,639 --> 00:12:36,519
getting stressed out too much.

319
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,440
I was a chain smoker to be quite honest.

320
00:12:39,639 --> 00:12:42,240
Then I got diagnosed with COPD

321
00:12:42,399 --> 00:12:43,919
which is a lung condition.

322
00:12:44,519 --> 00:12:46,559
And I knew I had to stop smoking

323
00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:48,039
because I'd lost a couple of

324
00:12:48,039 --> 00:12:50,399
family members with the same thing.

325
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,480
But I do vape and that's

326
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,440
constantly in me hands.

327
00:12:54,639 --> 00:12:56,480
Apart from the COPD,

328
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,320
I've got a foot condition.

329
00:12:58,639 --> 00:13:01,480
I've also suffered with tinnitus.

330
00:13:01,759 --> 00:13:04,039
I am actually classed as disabled.

331
00:13:04,039 --> 00:13:05,759
But it's just, you know,

332
00:13:05,759 --> 00:13:06,919
you've got to get on with it.

333
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,000
There's nothing...

334
00:13:08,279 --> 00:13:09,159
that can be done.

335
00:13:27,879 --> 00:13:29,559
My time at school was terrible.

336
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,720
I was no good at exams whatsoever.

337
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,679
And it was only through my girls that

338
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,600
they said that you're probably dyslexic.

339
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:37,960
And when I was a little boy,

340
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,639
my dad was quite violent towards me.

341
00:13:40,039 --> 00:13:40,960
I fought back.

342
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,399
And it wasn't until I got

343
00:13:42,399 --> 00:13:45,000
into my 30s that I realised

344
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,399
my behavioural problems

345
00:13:46,399 --> 00:13:48,039
could be ADHD as well.

346
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,519
Doing building work and forestry work,

347
00:13:51,519 --> 00:13:52,559
I miss it immensely.

348
00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:54,120
I miss the camaraderie.

349
00:13:54,639 --> 00:13:57,000
I miss the actual physical attributes of it

350
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,639
because that's what kept me fit

351
00:13:58,639 --> 00:13:59,639
all the way through my life,

352
00:14:00,279 --> 00:14:01,720
doing a physical job.

353
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,399
But then it's also what was my downfall

354
00:14:04,519 --> 00:14:06,159
because I I tried too hard, and I'd done

355
00:14:06,159 --> 00:14:08,000
too much, and eventually it broke me.

356
00:14:09,759 --> 00:14:11,879
I don't work, but when I did

357
00:14:11,879 --> 00:14:13,840
I was doing care work.

358
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:16,679
And I enjoyed working with the people

359
00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:18,960
I was looking after, because they was

360
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,279
similar to my age...

361
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,039
and they were nice.

362
00:14:22,879 --> 00:14:24,159
During school,

363
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,480
I found just getting to school on time difficult.

364
00:14:27,159 --> 00:14:28,399
I just wanted to live on my own,

365
00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:30,120
so that's what I was excited for.

366
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,840
I was 16 when I got my own place.

367
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,360
It was a mother-and-baby unit.

368
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,320
So it wasn't exactly what I wanted.

369
00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,039
But it was okay.

370
00:14:42,039 --> 00:14:44,200
It was better than being at home.

371
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,519
Now I'm just excited for Renell

372
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:48,519
to get into nursery, so that I'll have

373
00:14:48,519 --> 00:14:51,240
a bit of free time to do whatever,

374
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,399
and look at going into work.

375
00:14:54,559 --> 00:14:57,399
I worked from soon as I could at 16.

376
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,519
I wasn't academic,

377
00:15:00,039 --> 00:15:01,639
couldn't wait to leave school.

378
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,480
So I passed Woolworths,

379
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,120
I went in and I got the job.

380
00:15:05,519 --> 00:15:07,279
When I was 18, I applied

381
00:15:07,279 --> 00:15:08,919
for a job at William Hill.

382
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:09,960
And I loved it.

383
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,039
I loved that job.

384
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,200
And so many different characters.

385
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,799
And I was there for seven years.

386
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,200
And then I stopped that to have my son.

387
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:18,679
And then as he got a bit

388
00:15:18,679 --> 00:15:20,399
older I done part-time work.

389
00:15:20,399 --> 00:15:23,080
Worked in a baker's, I done bar work.

390
00:15:23,639 --> 00:15:25,159
And then when he started school

391
00:15:25,159 --> 00:15:26,720
I started doing childminding,

392
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:28,919
which I enjoyed as well.

393
00:15:29,279 --> 00:15:32,039
Cleaning jobs, things like that.

394
00:15:32,559 --> 00:15:34,679
I don't miss working now, because

395
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,080
my life is full enough for what

396
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,519
I'm able to do and what I can do.

397
00:15:58,840 --> 00:15:59,879
I'm looking forward to doing

398
00:15:59,879 --> 00:16:02,080
things that retired people do.

399
00:16:02,279 --> 00:16:03,600
I'm looking forward to doing things

400
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,399
that I haven't done yet.

401
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,879
And I don't want to be too ill to do them.

402
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,440
And that's a really important thing.

403
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:11,720
There's more places

404
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,639
I want to go and see.

405
00:16:13,159 --> 00:16:14,759
I've never seen Hadrian's Wall.

406
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,279
That's been a dream of mine for years.

407
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:18,840
I just haven't got around to it...

408
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:20,919
because I've got to be able to afford it.

409
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,159
But if that all works out, I'm

410
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:24,639
gonna be a very happy person.

411
00:16:24,879 --> 00:16:26,000
There's nothing else I need.

412
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,559
As long as I'm happy and

413
00:16:28,559 --> 00:16:29,759
as healthy as I can be.

414
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,720
You can't ask for anything else.

415
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,080
In the future, I'd like to

416
00:16:34,519 --> 00:16:38,279
have a business that is making

417
00:16:38,279 --> 00:16:39,559
a decent amount of money.

418
00:16:40,159 --> 00:16:42,440
And have my own car.

419
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,919
I think I'd probably need support with

420
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:45,759
just...

421
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,080
like, childcare.

422
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,039
For the future, I'm not too bothered.

423
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,159
I don't want anything

424
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,399
more than I've got.

425
00:16:55,679 --> 00:16:57,360
As long as I can pay my bills,

426
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:58,639
got a roof over me head,

427
00:16:58,799 --> 00:17:00,320
visit Ireland occasionally.

428
00:17:00,879 --> 00:17:02,679
I'm probably saving up

429
00:17:02,679 --> 00:17:03,600
a little bit now

430
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,880
to get an electric scooter.

431
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,720
So I can whizz around like all of

432
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,079
them on two wheels, or three wheels.